Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas in Dayton, or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Fight the Good Fight

[12.15.11]
Tonight I went to the Dayton Grade School Christmas Program. Let those words sink in for a moment. A public grade school plus a Christmas program don't go together.
[And then I discontinued writing this post until 12.27.11, though it feels like it was a months time, not two weeks.]
This program was astounding. Sure, it was just a bunch of grade schoolers singing a very strange variety of songs with a fair quality for all the hard work they've put in over weeks of awkward, difficult scheduling. (Side note: It's incredibly difficult for teachers to handle the crazy winter concert rehearsal scheduling, so it must be murder on the kids, who, although they don't know it, only thrive on consistency.) What really stuck with me though, was the Christmas (not winter holiday) carols, especially the ones that recognized the birth of Christ. I really enjoyed this, as I had found myself in the last refuge of Christianity being officially displayed in a school setting. The rural school truly is the last battlefront.

You see, while Christianity suffers far less persecution in America, it is still there, and one of the biggest places you can find it is in any place known as a government facility, especially schools. The attitude of late by a growing number of people is that the separation of church and state, a piece of our nation's constitution meant to prevent ALL religious persecution, is being bastardized by the pseudo-religion formed by devout, intolerant Atheists and anti-Christians. This ever-growing movement has been trying to squash out rights from the top level, all the way down to the ranks of boards, superintendents, administrations, teachers, and even students from displaying, discussing, or practicing religion. To them, any bit of religion, especially the dominant religion of Christianity (statistically speaking), should not be an influence in schools or governments.

As always, it's a balance. A fair, equal, tolerant, unpersecuting government cannot proselytize! But to take the rights of religious freedom from MEMBERS of the government and those served by it is to take rights from CITIZENS themselves. Religion is a cornerstone of culture, even if some would like to see it removed, and it would be absolutely wrong for children in the culture of Dayton to be denied the chance to participate in their cultural heritage, to learn about the beliefs many of them share, and to experience the joy of one of our nation's most celebrated holidays because it is somehow "unfair". That, in itself would be unfair.

Ahh, but this is a self-portrait, isn't it. Well, you will rarely hear me get political on this blog, because that's not what its about, but some of the most important things to me as of late, somewhat for obvious reasons, are religion, civil rights, and education. This issue is, and as an educator, will be something that I will actively wrestle with for a long time. And to see one last vestige of something that is seeing its last days was a blessing. And it truly gave me peace.



[And then back to 12.15.11, when I was preoccupied with Ron Swanson's awesomeness on Parks & Rec.]
Also, this:


More more more

I had to quell many an urge to want or even demand more this Christmas season. I'm generally satisfied with what I have, until Christmas when people want to GIVE you stuff. Then all the sudden, I am asked to WANT more. Then, in brief moments of failure, I am unsatisfied with a very blessed life. I see what others received, and might even think that what I got was "not as good". Come on. I'm an American. I'm spoiled.

Why want more? All that wanting causes an unnecessary disequilibrium. It's disgusting. There is so much need, we have so much, and we dare not be happy with it? We live in a very dangerous culture. Dangerous to our holistic health. In our society, how are we supposed to maintain a good physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or any other health, when we are never satisfied. I'm making the choice to try to be happy with that I have, and be grateful for all the gifts I've received. To be satisfied is to have peace. All want does is cause strife. Tiny little ripples of strife in your life and in others that build up in millions and billions of people until our selfishness puts the world in a scary, teetering sociopoliticoeconomic crisis in which everyone is hurt in their own special way. No thanks. I'll take my part to seek peace for myself and others in the satisfaction I have for giving and being happy with what I have.

Video is DJ Earworm: No More Gas. Eat your heart out, America.


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas Everyone

I have a list 10 feet long of things I could complain about, but (just like any day really) I shouldn't.

Take today and appreciate who you have and what you have. That's what I'll be doing.

And that gives me peace. Peace on earth, and goodwill to men.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Dog, In Memoriam

Fair warning: This post, and myself, can be very emotional.

Yes, she was just a dog. But she was so much more than that. She was my Princess Gracie Kate Perkins.
She was known as friend and mother.

I grew up with many dogs, but this was my dog.

When we suffer a loss, the most common thing to say is, "It's not fair." And, you know what? It's not. It's just not fair. She wasn't young, but she really wasn't old either. She might have been an animal, and a stubborn one at that, but she was the shining example that betrayed my skeptic mind, for I believe that she had a beautiful soul.

On Saturday, I came home. I came home exhausted from finals, from separation, from moving, from emotions, from life, from loss. When my parents broke the news of her sudden expiration, I thought that I was already on empty, and could feel no more hurt. But I was wrong. I loved this dog with such passion, that I took mere minutes before I broke down crying, in one of my rare moments of real tears.
These tears, already fed by so much emotion were full of rage and confusion, but mostly just of deep sorrow, and that nagging feeling that there was no justice in what had transpired.

This is all true, but life will go on. Though I typically find spending time worrying about animals to be a waste of time, this dog isn't typical. This was my dog, and I loved her. It is time to celebrate her life. She was a faithful companion, and my most constant form of comfort and understanding. I feel as though I need her here, just to handle her own passing. She will be sorely missed, but I will always have her in my memory. I have so many good memories of her, just like any other member of my family. There she will remain in my memory: as a member of my family.

Gracie will be sorely missed. To the best of my knowledge, she is survived by all but two of her litter of 11. One of which, is my other dog Ruger. It may be a harder time for him than anyone else, but he will learn to adjust with us, and though our family is one member smaller, we will all become stronger.

Thanks you for the last decade, Gracie. This is for you, in memoriam. I hope to God that I may see you in heaven. I love you.

With this, may I move towards peace.

Apology

I am truly sorry for such an early failure in posting regularity. Sorry to you, my audience, and sorry to me.

I can blame finals, and moving, and whatnot, but the real blame is on myself. I've been working on several posts, but due to the loss of someone dear to me, they will probably be postponed til after I talk about that.

I'm still here, even if just barely. That is the nature of some seasons of life, and for that, I cannot apologize.

Blessings, friends.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Motivation/Focus Dichotomy

Motivation. Focus. I have both, but never, ever, ever... okay rarely, at the same time. In a single evening I can maintain both for every short bursts, but it seems to swing one way or the other. It is making this semester hell at times.

Motivation to work.... lack of focus.... gain focus... lose motivation.

It's a self-defeating cycle that is being amplified by my perfectionism and the related anxiety and fear of not performing well enough.

I've been trying to conquer this since it started years ago, but it just keeps getting worse.

This does NOT bring me peace.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Gettin' Friendly

Tiffany Gilly:
Interesting thought: Can Men and Women just be friends? (Note: not talking about Boys or Girls) What do you think? I have my own thoughts, but what do you think?


Me: 
I totally believe its possible, but it takes care by both parties. Honesty is the most important ingredient.


It's natural for the manatee to turn into a mermaid in many cases, but for people with an ounce of self-control (a lost art) not all is lost in the realm of opposite sex friendships. I have great friendships with females, I just am very very careful about them.

Specifically, I keep four factors in moderation:
1. The amount of time I spend with them, particularly alone.
2. The amount (if any) and type of touch that happens. (Innocent physicality brings out instincts no matter how evolved we are feeling.)
3. The amount of investment I put into that person. (I will not put the weight of all my burdens on one female friend.)
4. The level of content I put in. (I moderate how much highly emotional or serious matter I have within the friendship.)

Now personally, and this differs from person to person, but I find time, touch, investment, and content easier with women than with men, so a good deal of my good friends are female. It just means I have to pay a lot of attention to how much I am doing it. It's worked well for me, and so I've been able to easily remove any temptations that have come by.

It also helps to be in a healthy, committed relationship. When you are happy with your significant other, its easy for others to not become as significant!

(I wrote all this, saw it's blog potential, and was too lazy to turn it into a real blog post, but all none of you reading this will forgive me, I'm sure. So sure, that I'm not even going to use an end parathesis.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Hundred Languages


The child is made of one hundred.
The child has
a hundred languages
a hundred hands
a hundred thoughts
a hundred ways of thinking
of playing, of speaking.
A hundred.
Always a hundred
ways of listening
of marveling, of loving
a hundred joys
for singing and understanding
a hundred worlds
to discover
a hundred worlds
to invent
a hundred worlds
to dream.
The child has
a hundred languages
(and a hundred hundred hundred more)
but they steal ninety-nine.
The school and the culture
separate the head from the body.
They tell the child:
to think without hands
to do without head
to listen and not to speak
to understand without joy
to love and to marvel
only at Easter and at Christmas.
They tell the child:
to discover the world already there
and of the hundred
they steal ninety-nine.
They tell the child:
that work and play
reality and fantasy
science and imagination
sky and earth
reason and dream
are things
that do not belong together.
And thus they tell the child
that the hundred is not there.
The child says:
No way. The hundred is there.
-Loris Malaguzzi
Founder of the Reggio Emilia Approach
The way that I teach, and the way I am made to teach defies my ideals everyday. Every day I feel throughout the day little stabs to the ideal teacher within as something I do squanders another child's expression. It's very hard not to do in todays high-stakes test driven school culture, but it is still hard to be hit multiple times throughout the day with the feeling that I have just said no to another language that a child is trying to use. And they wonder why we have no creativity. When I have my own classroom, I hope to be embarking on a journey to utilize these languages to learn, instead of teaching children to throw these valuable languages away to do things one boring way that probably doesn't make much sense and isn't any fun.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Busy Weekend

This weekend was busy, but in a good way I guess. I did fun things! With people! Sometimes I think I forgot how to do that.

I didn't get much done though. And I have a mountain of things to do, because it hasn't been getting done. For months. :/

Friday, December 2, 2011

Alaska?

So. God. What do you think? Is there something for me there?

I'll try and keep my ears open for once.

(Even though I'm afraid of the answers I'll get.)

Truth. Peace out.